A mad old satirical news site from the dawn of the Internet archived for posterity

Drink from the
furry cup

All the news without the kumquats


  • ChilliBear
  • Hungry Caterpillar
  • Sean the Irish Bastard
  • Spunk-Monkey
  • Winnie the Poo
  • Hoffin' Bigman
  • Helter-Skelter
  • Niloc
  • Saunders
  • Dai Laffin
  • Digger

Quintessential Quote

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

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Past Poll

How did you find out about DFTFC?

  • I'm an editor
  • I'm a friend of an editor
  • I'm a friend of a friend of an editor
  • Posting on a newsgroup
  • Website link
  • Surfing for porn
  • Found the URL on a pipe inside a dam


Now in the very dim and distant past we used to write editorials. Well perhaps that's a bit of an over statement considering we've only written three in three years!


Written by: Sean the Irish Bastard Published on: 14 Jan 2003

DFTFC is proud to announce the arrival of Sean the Irish Bastard’s baby daughter. Contrary to rumour around the labour ward, she does not (yet) exhibit horns and a tail.

The name has been chosen to be Zoe, partly because it is greek for ‘She who will inherit all the burning carcasses of the dead wilderbeest’, and partly because it scans well with ‘Irish Bastard’.

However, check out the new poll for where you can help shape her identity in some small way…

Suffer ye piteous fools! er, I mean… Cheers…


Written by: ChilliBear Published on: 16 Sep 2000

Right well here goes for another editorial. I’ve actually been wondering what I can bitch about in this editorial, it’s just my luck that nothing has particularly got on my nerves over the last week or so - I don’t drive :)

So to pass the time until I think of something I’ve invested many hours of work into creating this exciting free gift for you our dedicated reader. Yes it’s a badge! All you need to do is cut around the dotted line and then fix a safety pin to the back and you can wear it with pride! Please note that we do recommend that you print this page first before cutting the badge our, Spunk-Monkey damaged three monitors here at the office before he realised.


Well I should really start bitching about something right around here, but I figured I’d just let everyone know what’s happening around the office today. Well We haven’t seen a great deal of ‘Winnie the Poo’ for a couple of days now and quite frankly we are beginning to get worried… If anyone sees him wandering around can they tell him to get his arse back in the office and do some work! Earlier this week I spent a productive day figuring out how to make Internet Explorer show a little icon of the Furry Cup in the address bar. neat

We found a new company that provide air hockey tables, since ours keeps breaking down when Spunk-Monkey and Hoffin’ Bigman use it. So that should keep us out of mischief. Well gosh hasn’t it been fun and busy this week!

Anyway let me just tell you what’s new on the site. We have a new webcam setup, and this one is amazing. DFTFC are proud to present the all new all singing (well not actually, but its reads better like that) CMWLOBFL Cam! For those of you are a little bit thick that stands for “Cable Modem With Lots of Blinky and Flashy Lights”. Yes we now have our other webcam pointing at a Cable Modem, fun or what!

There are a couple of new music reviews in the “Aural Pleasure” section, and I’ll try to get off my overpaid arse and write some new reviews for “Eye Candy”.

Thanks, and remember to spread the word about us!


Written by: Chillibear Published on: 12 Aug 2000

Welcome to DFTFC. Firstly I’d just like to apologise from all the editorial team about the frequency of updates over the past month or two, we feel you deserve an explanation. Basically it boils down to the simple fact that ‘Winnie the Poo’ was pregnant, yes we couldn’t believe it either (mainly because that would require him to have had sex with his girlfriend). This pregnancy upset the entire smooth running of the office and hence we just couldn’t think or type rubbish on our computers and to add to all that the Donut machine broke down three times!

Well now we’re back and ‘Winnie’ has had a baby poo, so things can return to normal. Yes that’s right its back to updates every-other day or so. Plus we have some wonderful new areas of the site that you can explore, excited - you should be…

First up is ‘Sean the Irish Bastard’s’ section of the site, aptly titled “Aural Pleasure”. Basically it where you go to get reviews both on the latest music and some classic greats.

Next we have “Eye Candy” Our brand new movie review section, here you will find reviews for movies both currently showing and some golden oldies.

Fancy a go at our new Caption Competition, its pretty obvious what you do there.

We have also decided to share our greatness with the rest of the world in the form of awards… that’s right we are going to be giving out some of the most coveted (well they should be) awards on the web… stay tuned.

So sit back with mouse in hand (nothing else - we’re not that kind of site) and enjoy the wonder that is to “Drink from the Furry Cup”

Yeah you guessed it the majority of this site is copyrighted to us, © 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 all the way up to 2014 so please don't pinch it. Obviously this is all in good humour if you don't think so then you don't have "good humour". This is of course only a sarcastic sceptical FICTITIOUS (yes thats right it's not real! - It's actually made up! - Welcome to the world of satire), view on life the universe and everyone in the public light... hey it's all supposed to be good fun... honest :)