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Prime Minister - Pokemon Champion

Written by: ChilliBear Published on: 12 Apr 2000

It has long been common knowledge by those in parliamentary circles, that the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is an avid Pokemon trainer. The Prime Minister, seen below, often consults with his favourite Pokemon “Pikachu”, on important matters of state.

Tony Blair and Pikachu at a recent conference.
Tony Blair and Pikachu at a recent conference.

Since the Prime Minister’s victory over former Pokemon Master “Major” several years ago, his position as Chief Pokemon Trainer has been left unchallenged. However, with so many rogue trainers in the British House of Commons, it was only a matter of time until he was challenged again.

Yesterday, Prime Minister’s question time was abruptly interrupted, when the Leader of the Conservative opposition, William Hague, leapt into the air and drew a PokeBall.

Porttillo Flinging the PokeBall high into the air, he shouted “Portillo - I call you”. With a blinding flash of light the

Michael Portillo Pokemon leap from his PokeBall. The Prime Minister Tony Blair was quick to react - launching one of his own PokeBalls into the air whilst yelling, “Gordon Brown - I call you “. The much feared Gordon Brown Pokemon

Brown appeared with a thunderclap. “Let battle commence” screamed the Prime Minister; the two Pokemon instantly leapt towards each another.

Brown attacked first with his Increase Spending attack; sending thousands of pound coins hurtling toward the other Pokemon. Portillo countered with his unique Budget Cuts attack, with forks of lightning smashing Brown to the floor… Brown then sprinted across to the Speaker’s chair, backflipped into it, and used his special I want to be Prime Minister fire-ball attack. Portillo was unprepared for this, and was hit straight on; engulfing him in a blazing inferno. Once the flames and smoke had subsided, a charred Portillo lay defeated at Brown’s feet. William Hague recalled his humiliated Pokemon back to it’s PokeBall, and cast a vengeful stare at the triumphant Tony Blair. The House of Commons erupted in applause and several minutes passed before order was restored by Betty Boothroyd.

Tony Blair celebrates his victory with his wife.
Tony Blair celebrates his victory with his wife.

Tony Blair later told us “I never believed that the upstart Hague had a chance, his training methods are weak, and his Pokemon moral low. I hope he will now accept me as the Ultimate Pokemon Trainer”.

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